1. [Boss walks in] Sorry, let me just finish this long text message to my mom. 2. Get up from the toilet when your legs are numb. Seriously, any longer and you might lose a limb. 3. [Boss walks in after you start a battle] Release all your troops at once, turn device face down, and pray your troops do better than when you are commanding. Let’s face it, they will. 4. Get your boss addicted to Plunder Pirates 5. Put on a respirator and join the rebellious smoke break clique. 6. Customize your desk like George Costanza 7. VPN. Can you see me now? 8. Who is yelling, “No, no, no, not that way you stupid idiot!”? 9. Conference room reserved from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. 10. Sexual harassment seminar requirement due to asking, “Want to see my booty?” 11. Roaming the halls singing “Let’s Talk Dirty in Midokian.” (This could be its own thread) Any additions? Work is getting pretty boring.
14. Flight attendants, please take your seats. It's going to get bumpy for a couple of minutes up here, but this guy's got 2m just ripe for the plundering! I mean turbulence, yeah, turbulence.
#16 work with a local DA and your primary care physician to get Plunder Pirates accepted as a form of stress relief and get it legally registered as a non-pharmaceutical alternative to hypertension medication. Offer to promote your PCP to first mate in exchange for a doctor's note stating that playing PP helps reduce your risk of heart-attack and therefor MUST BE PLAYED for 20 minutes every hour OR YOU WILL DIE. Then give your boss the note and ask If they want one too *nudge nudge wink wink*
Tell your students you are beginning a new unit called "Pirates Throughtout History, A New Approach to Understanding The Tactical and Economical Ramifications of Plundering from the Phoenicians Until Modern Times." Tell them they can play on their phones as much as they want, and not to bother you at your desk.
@Gangrene Beard just noticed you and @Kelani are designated as Commodore on the forum. Is that a new rank or did I just miss it before?