Pirates attacking by hitpoint value, closest building or building type

a setting that would let our pirates attack by hit point value, or closest, or building type so that we can navigate past some of the flawed AI? It would be more realistic and challenging if we were able to control and utilize each pirates particular strengths. As it stands now we dump and run...not much fun in that anymore. And maybe a sultry voiceover at the conclusion of the battle announcing the victory. That is all for now.

 

I would like a voice over saying "You got eliminated" or "Find their plunder! Takes the woman, leave the children" made by Morgan Freeman.
But it might get rated 16+ for that..

 

I can see it now...

Morgan Freeman (narrating): Two things never happened again after that. The Priestesses never laid a finger on @The Fish Eyed Pirate again... and SantaBrute never Brought it On again. They transferred him to a minimum security base upstate. To my knowledge, he lived out the rest of his days drinking his grog through a candy cane straw.

 

I have to ignore my temporary self-ban on liking your posts. This was awesome.

 

Hey what's wrong with leaving children behind? They only cry, eat and if you're lucky they sleep.
They have no purpose on my island..