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Maybe.. Maybe not We'll find out soon enough, though.

Seriously, how much free time do you guys think I have, anyway?

Let me be clear about this: our spreadsheet is only for collecting "visible-to-all" island and player stats, for the good of the guild. It's no different than you viewing all the towns in your guild and writing down what you see.

All I care about recording is:

1. Who's inactive, or who plays infrequently (i.e. weekend warriors)
2. Who's sitting below 100 rank for weeks on end
3. Who hasn't improved their rank/town 1-2 months after joining
4. Who have I warned in chat, or kicked before
5. Who has which perks, and how many of each does our guild have (wish this was shown ingame)
6. What is our average pirate rank
7. Where are our members (like, which continent), for purposes of promotions and perk funding
8. How many of each level PH do we have.

The rest of the info (Country/State Male/Lady pirate, Midoki forum username, preferred nickname) is just for our guild members' use in guild chat. It's all kept vague, and none of it is requested or required, and any member can choose what they want listed (or not listed). All of these things are told to a new member when they first join. It's the first thing they see, in fact. IMO, it's neat to be able to put some human details to the names you see each day. Example: Guild chat's a lot more fun when you can make fun of Canada, knowing there's a Canadian in there. Or ask a guy in Minnesota about a storm that's currently dumping snow on him.

Obviously, no personally-identifiable info is ever allowed in chat, or in the spreadsheet. We don't ask about OR record members' ages, home cities(exception: major cities like Los Angeles, and only if the member doesn't care about that being added), occupation, or anything else that could be used to stalk/bother/harass anyone. There are certain things which can be shared that make the guild experience richer, while keeping every member safe. I'm all for recording those things. The personal stuff, absolutely not.

Of course, if a problem ever arises because of anything listed on our sheet, the whole sheet will be gone within minutes. I don't play around with things like that. Our spreadsheet is a useful tool, but it's not indispensable. My members come first, so one word from any of them, and I'd yank the whole thing, no questions asked. And, when a member quits, their info is deleted. When I quit playing, or the guild ceases to exist, all of the info will be deleted.

 

Probably. It'd be nice if you and @Marmaladesix would weigh in here, and tell these guys how harmless my little sheet really is

 

It's never a good idea to make fun of Canadians.

 

Hey, even Canadians make fun of Celine. The bulk of you, though, are OK with me.

 

I'm pleading the fifth.

 

Just saying, they don't let us leave kindergarten without being able to win in a hockey brawl. You don't want to piss us off

 

And Celine and the Biebs both live amongst you now...

 

Had I not already given you your present, I'd take you off my Christmas list for that one.

probably not, but even if I do, I know your national anthem by heart. I can sing it as I'm running away. That'll slow you down a bit.

 

In both English AND French? You've gotta be able to mumble through it accurately.

 

GO CANADA!

 

Hrm no. Kels don't do French. Guess I'll just run faster once I hit Quebec

 

No need for that. The amount of poutine eaten there slows them down naturally.

 

Aye. We Canadians will fight to the death. Unless a hockey game breaks out or we run out of beer.

 

Though you should be wary of anyone wanting to shake your hand Shawinigan style

 

I'm in quebec right now. Speaking English as i should. Hehehe.

 

I'll be honest, for most Americans, Canadians are a source of bewilderment and amusement, but generally, we like you guys, and are glad to have you on the front lines protecting our Northern border from whoever decides to invade us by crossing the North pole . For those of us who actually know a real live Canadian, and a little bit about Canadian culture, we think you're pretty cool, maybe we're even a bit fond of you.

p.s. My secret dream is to try curling before I die.

 

Is it just because we use the metric system up here? It's really easy, you just divide by 10.

 

Could be, but there's a few things that you guys do that are adorable, or just raised a few eyebrows:

1. You Built a UFO Landing Pad in St. Paul.
2. Your highways are designed to be safer for roaming animals than drivers
3. Vancouver's annual bathtub race.
4. You guys answer most of the world's letters to Santa
5. Sour toe cocktail
6. You can fire handguns in the West Edmonton Mall
7. You have a prison for larcenous polar bears
8. You eat more Kraft mac and cheese (Kraft DInner) than any other country
9. The nation’s official phone number is 1-800-O-Canada
10. You have a strategic maple syrup reserve
11. Your Immigration Minister declared that Santa Claus is Canadian.
12. You have a town called Dildo
13. University of Victoria has a course called "The Science if Batman"
14. A town in BC has a this postal code: V4G 1N4
15. Comic books which depict any illegal acts are banned in Canada
16. It is illegal to kill a sick person by frightening them.
17. The city is classified as a no-pee zone.
18. You may not own a log cabin.
19. Wooden logs may not be painted.
20. It is illegal to pretend to practice witchcraft.

 

We also have a giant perogy and a town called Vulcan. I have been to Dildo. And my dad curls.

 

@Salty Snack @Captain Monkey @Gangrene Beard @Bear

Why, yes I do!

Kel's Creepy Midoki Forum Spreadsheet